


lighthouses

by lazyfish



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29716356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish
Summary: “Every relationship needs a lighthouse and an ocean,” Amalia explained. “Two lighthouses are boring. They sit about and shine and do nothing worthwhile. Two oceans crash about and waste their energy with spitting and fighting. Their relationships fail eventually because there’s no way for them to change or grow.”
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Bobbi Morse
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	lighthouses

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is heavily inspired by the movie _Say My Name_! It has a really beautiful speech at the end that gave me feelings so I decided to write this. Happy Fitzbobbi Friday!

Scotland was beautiful.

Bobbi had been before once or twice, but always for missions and never for longer than a few days. Going to Fitz’s home, with Fitz, as a _vacation_ … it was different, and it allowed her to appreciate the beauty of the country in a whole new way. Rolling green hills, the slate-gray sea, a prenaturally blue sky - all of it mesmerized her.

Fitz drove while she looked out the windows, and she didn’t even realize they were close to their destination until Fitz nudged her and pointed at the small town that seemed to have popped up out of nowhere. 

His mum’s house was on the town’s outskirts, far away from the bustle of the town center.

“She likes quiet,” Fitz explained as they rolled up the gravel driveway. “And privacy.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” Bobbi said, smiling playfully at him.

Fitz’s eyes softened as he smiled back. “I’m like my mum in a lot of ways.”

“You’re like yourself in a lot of ways, too,” Bobbi said softly, offering her hand. Fitz grabbed it, squeezing softly. The spectre of Alistair was one they hadn’t managed to outrun yet, and maybe never would. Either way Bobbi wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her life reminding Fitz that he was so much more than the man his father tried to make him, in the real world or in the Framework.

The front door of the house swung open, cutting off any further conversation. Bobbi gave Fitz one last glance before stepping out of the car. Her combat boots crunched on the gravel as she made her way up the driveway and Fitz’s tennis shoes made a soft _thwick thwick thwick_ as he ran the last few steps into his mother’s arms.

Bobbi stood a respectful distance away whilst mother and son hugged, ducking her head so as not to intrude on their first moment together in years. Everyone knew it had been too long since Fitz had seen his mum - long enough that he could’ve met someone, fallen in love, and proposed without his mother ever meeting the woman in question.

“You must be Barbara,” Amalia said when she pulled away from her son and saw Bobbi standing there.

“Bobbi, mum,” Fitz corrected. “No one calls her Barbara except her brother.”

“Mack isn’t my brother,” Bobbi muttered, more to herself than to Fitz. They’d been having that argument for well over a year now and weren’t getting anywhere with it, probably because Fitz knew he was right.

“Bobbi then.” Amalia smiled. “Won’t you come in?”

The inside of the house was more modern than Bobbi expected, though the scuffed hardwood floors betrayed its age.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please,” Fitz answered, grabbing Bobbi’s hand so he could lead her into the kitchen. “Do you have any of that ginger stuff?”

“I do,” Amalia confirmed as she set the kettle on to boil. She turned back to Fitz, then eyed Bobbi. “Is there something you’d like to tell me, love?”

Fitz blinked, bewildered. Bobbi sighed, squeezing his hand. “I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It was.” Amalia bustled to the cupboard, withdrawing a box of teabags larger than Bobbi’s head. “Not that I wouldn’t be thrilled with a grandchild, but if you two are getting married, I want to make sure it’s because you want to, and not because you feel like you have to.”

“We want to, mum,” Fitz said gently. “But we’d also like your blessing, if you’d give it.”

Bobbi swallowed hard. They hadn’t bothered to ask her parents how they felt about the marriage - Bobbi hadn’t cared about their opinion for years - but it was markedly more important to both of them that Amalia support their relationship, or at least not oppose it.

“Let’s have our tea first.”

“Yes ma’am,” Bobbi murmured. It wasn’t a rebuke, exactly, but it wasn’t the warm welcome she had hoped for, either.

The atmosphere in the kitchen never became tense even as they stood in silence for several minutes. Fitz’s thumb traced soothing patterns on the back of Bobbi’s hand, reassuring her of his presence and his support. He wouldn’t run just because his mother disagreed, but Bobbi still worried Fitz’s confidence in her (in _them_ ) would waver if his mother didn’t eventually come around.

When the tea was finished they all settled at the small kitchen table. Bobbi’s fingers curled around her mug and she stared into the foggy depths of her tea while Fitz and his mother struck up conversation again.

“Is everything alright, dear?” Amalia asked rather suddenly. “You’ve been quiet.”

“I’m - um. I’m not good with families,” Bobbi said, swirling the tea in her mug around to avoid looking Fitz’s mum in the eyes. “Sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about.” Amalia’s voice had softened noticeably, almost enough that Bobbi considered looking up at her. “Leo, dear, would you leave us alone for a minute?”

Bobbi’s eyes followed Fitz when he stood up, half a plea for him to stay on her lips.

“It’ll be alright,” Fitz murmured when he bent down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Just be yourself.”

That wasn’t exactly _easy_ given herself wasn’t normally someone who would sit down to tea with a stranger without an ulterior motive. Bobbi didn’t want to manipulate Fitz’s mum into liking her - she just wanted to be liked anyways. 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t approve of your relationship with my son,” Amalia said once Fitz was far out of earshot. “You seem like a lovely young woman and I trust his judgment. If he thinks you’ll make him happy, it’s not my place to say otherwise.”

“But?” Bobbi prompted, sending unspoken words.

“Bobbi, are you a lighthouse or an ocean?”

“I don’t think I understand the question.” Bobbi looked up then, finally meeting Amalia’s eyes. They were blue like Fitz’s, and it was difficult to be unnerved by eyes that reminded her so much of his.

“Every relationship needs a lighthouse and an ocean,” Amalia explained. “Two lighthouses are boring. They sit about and shine and do nothing worthwhile. Two oceans crash about and waste their energy with spitting and fighting. Their relationships fail eventually because there’s no way for them to change or grow.”

“And you think that’s what’s happening between me and Fitz?” Bobbi guessed.

“I don’t know, which is why I asked,” Amalia said, voice stern but not unkind. 

“I’m the ocean,” Bobbi whispered, turning her gaze down again. “I - I’m capricious and indecisive and insecure and sometimes I throw other people’s feelings around just to feel like I’m powerful.” She swallowed hard, tears stinging at her eyes. “I hurt people,” she sniffed. “And he - he just stands there and acts like it’s alright and he keeps shining and -” Bobbi broke off into a sob. “I should go.”

All it had taken was one simple question for her to realize she couldn’t do this - not because she didn’t love Fitz, but because he loved her too much, and she was going to destroy him. She was too much like the ocean, willful and powerful and capable of so much _death_. She would drown Fitz and he would act like it was alright because he had been drowned once before for love, and she couldn’t let him do that. She couldn’t let him hurt himself for her.

Bobbi began tugging the ring off her finger, stumbling blindly to standing. “Tell Leo -”

“Tell me what?” Fitz interrupted, materializing in the doorway. “Mum, what did you say to her?!”

“She didn’t let me finish,” Amalia said, though she sounded contrite. Bobbi finally managed to wrench her engagement ring off her finger and was about to offer it to Fitz when he swept her up int a bear hug.

“Whatever she said doesn’t matter,” Fitz murmured, running his hands through her hair. Bobbi’s arms slowly slid around his waist and she buried her face in his neck, breaths still wobbling out of her too quickly.

“It’s not what she said,” Bobbi whispered. “It’s what I am, Fitz. I’m an ocean.”

“I love the ocean.” Fitz pulled back and took Bobbi’s face in his hands. “I love the way the water sparkles in the sunlight and I love the way it smells and I love sea glass and driftwood and sand dollars.”

“You love the beach,” Bobbi said, turning to press a kiss into Fitz’s palm. “Not the ocean.”

“I love the ocean,” Fitz repeated stubbornly. “And I love you, so someone needs to please tell me what’s going on and why my fiancée is crying.”

“Before I married Alistair, my mother gave me a piece of advice about marriage,” Amalia said. “I tried to give the same advice to Bobbi but apparently I bollocksed it up.”

“Maybe advice that led to you marrying him isn’t the best to give, all things considered,” Fitz said coldly.

“Leo,” Bobbi said sharply.

“It obviously didn’t work for them, and it hurt you, so it must not be that great.” Fitz brushed his thumb along the bottom of Bobbi’s eyelid, swiping away a tear. “Please don’t go,” he said softly. 

“The point of the analogy isn’t that the ocean is bad and the lighthouse is good,” Amalia said. “The point is that they need each other to be at their best. An ocean without a lighthouse is dark and dangerous, and a lighthouse without an ocean is nothing more than a building with a lamp on top.”

“I love the ocean,” Fitz said for a third time, drawing Bobbi in closer to him. “I love the waves and the currents, I love the fish and the sharks and the whales and the gulls, I love the sandbars and reefs and trenches. I love that when I’m tired it sings me to sleep and I love that when I’m angry it rages with me and I love that when I’m happy it plays with me. I love that I will spend the rest of my life learning about what the ocean holds, because I don’t need to know everything about something to know it’s worth protecting and cherishing.”

“Fitz…”

“Put your ring back on. Please.”

Bobbi held it out to him instead, and he slid it back onto her finger, kissing her knuckles gently. Without them asking Amalia slipped out of the kitchen, leaving her and Fitz alone.

“I wish you would trust me,” Fitz said, tucking his chin over her shoulder. “And know that I love all of you. Even the parts you think are scary.”

“You know it’s not that easy.” There were parts of himself Fitz didn’t like, either. It wasn’t as easy as just loving and trusting, or his nightmares wouldn’t keep him up at night.

“I know.” Fitz sighed.

“You can be the ocean sometimes,” Bobbi murmured into his hair. “If you need to be. I can be the lighthouse for you.” For him, Bobbi could figure out how to do anything - even shine.

“As long as you promise you’ll go back to being my ocean eventually,” Fitz said. “I meant it, Bobbi. I meant that I don’t mind there being parts of you I don’t know yet. It’s part of the fun.”

“Okay.” She sank further into his embrace. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Don’t be.” Fitz pulled away from the hug to once again take her face in his hands. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, and then an even softer one on his lips. “We made it through, didn’t we?”

“We did,” she agreed.

Bobbi was beginning to think she could make it through anything, as long as she had her lighthouse.


End file.
